The Caucus Song

(I’ve got the) Walking Subcaucus Blues
~ apologies to St. James Infirmary Blues

Folks, I'm going to my convention
My baby's a candidate there;
She's runnin' for truth and justice
So fine, so free, so fair.

Let her go, let her go, God bless her
She's gonna represent us all
But before she gets the endorsement
Gotta figure out this Call.

The Chair asks for nominations;
Now twenty subcaucuses form.
Gotta choose the one that suits me
And that'll send my baby on.

Just me and sixteen others
Are standin' together as one;
They're talkin' 'bout "viability"
And we're not even close to done.

I counted on all my fingers
And divided with my toes;
Each group of eight sends a delegate
'Cause not everybody goes.

The clock it began a-tickin'
We had just ten minutes to see;
Our subcaucus joined our neighbor;
We grew to twenty-three.

We needed to find another
'Cause three of us wanted a spot;
No one budged, no one came, so we stood there
With the highest remainder they've got.

No one told me I needed math skills
But I think I've paid my dues
They gave me an alternate status
I’ve got the walking subcaucus blues